I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
