rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
