when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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