Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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