Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds

(1-440): View more from Ohio

How much beer did you get for it?

(440): View more from Ohio

One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied

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(510): View more from California

Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.

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(562): View more from California

the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(340): View more from US Virgin Islands

$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.

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(416): View more from Toronto

He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.

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(850): View more from Florida

I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.

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(512): View more from Texas

However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.

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