farters have to be the big spoon...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize
