Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate

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(636): View more from Missouri

trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+61): View more from Australia

Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.

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(409): View more from Texas

I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."

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(612): View more from Minnesota

We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us

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