i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
