He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The best revenge is premature balding
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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