is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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