Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
