wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Randomize