Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
