We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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