So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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