my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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