I've blown a few things in my day
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
