Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
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If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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