I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
