You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize