I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
