Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
