but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
