Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
