Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
