wakey wakey hands off snakey
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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