No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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