I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Randomize
