i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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