i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
