YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize