sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
