I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
His nipple licking is glorious
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