Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
