Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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