I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
