Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
