jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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