At least make sure they are 18
Why
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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