dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
