Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
