Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
