now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
