come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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