We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
