therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
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It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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