god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize