can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
