Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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