i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
