dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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