Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
