Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
