Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
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I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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