THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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