plz talk dirty to me
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
