dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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