How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
