Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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