that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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