do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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