Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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