and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Randomize
